Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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