Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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ow

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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