"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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the holocaust

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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