whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Matthew Wyckoff

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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