How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

wanna here a joke? you.

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Where's my shotgun

Once there was a girl named Andrea

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...