A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Boobs are nasty!

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Gestapo.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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