:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Robert Mugabe.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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knock knock

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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I lost my tractor.

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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