How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops