GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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