What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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