Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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