When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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what is stupid and reading this you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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