Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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a man walked into a bar....

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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Moral

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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