How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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