Johnson stops eating

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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womans rights...

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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Alex Gedrose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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