What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

agp

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops