How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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