What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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A black guy with his family.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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