Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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WNBA

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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