What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Politics

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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batman has diarrhea

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Christ is a conspiracy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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