Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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hey, my names mark.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why was Timmy sad?

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Sarah Palin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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