Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops