what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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