Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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