Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Matt Damon

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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