What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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