What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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The cow went moo

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Chris Bosh's neck

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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