Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops