What did the clock say? The time.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Jimmy Saville

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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