Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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OBAMA

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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