How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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69

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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