Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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