Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops