Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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PENlS.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops