THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops