What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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