Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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