- Anti Joke

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

squash squash who squash my ass

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! stare

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Ron Paul for President!

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

I drive a 'rarri

Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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