Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between John and John Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops