What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Aodhan Hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops