Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What break when you talk?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Velcro. What a rip off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

FOLLOW ME @airvvv

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops