One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +31

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +8

darude- sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops