What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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I love you

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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