How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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