Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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