A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down +7

destiny

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops