How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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