A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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I am really good at math debating

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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