You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Womens rights

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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