F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Got milk? No.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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