whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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book 'em danno

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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