A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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roses are red, violets are violet

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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