why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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No.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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