What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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And more;

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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