Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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