The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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