Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops