How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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