Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Title IX

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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