Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Tall asians

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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