Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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