Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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One, two, three, four and five

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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