What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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