So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Poop

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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