Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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