I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

thumb_up thumb_down -45

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops