What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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field day?

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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