Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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melon

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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