Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

Where do babies come from? My garage

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

A russian gives away vodka.

whats brown? poop.

My pet rock died.

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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