You know what's funny? Rape

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops