How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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knock knock Come in!!!

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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