How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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I went to work today....

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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