Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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