Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +19

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops