why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

WHO WANTS SOW????

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

Your adopted.....

WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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