I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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