What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What does a man like. food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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