- Anti Joke

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

rebecca is a hard worker

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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