knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +188

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops