What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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I never asked for this.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. who's driving? The black guy because he just turned 16. His school mate the Mexican child is still only 15 and he will have to wait a few more months before he can drive.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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This is an anti-joke.

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How are you? Yes

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since when?

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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