Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

69

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

thumb_up thumb_down -14

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops