WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

gingers

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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