Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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Shit.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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The Game

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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