A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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