The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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read me write me

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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