A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops