How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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brainfart

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Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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