Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Potassium? K.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Hello.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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