If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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