Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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