An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops