How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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