What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops