If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Thumbs this down

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

thumb_up thumb_down -16

my captcha says : forkin chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down

Homo say what?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

thumb_up thumb_down +2

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops