Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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