What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops