What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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