there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

oooh look a banshee

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

watch me nae nae

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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