what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

Why was sally crying? she was sad

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

wanna hear a joke: women's rights

Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

This site is easy to upload to...

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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