What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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............................................................................................................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .thumbs up!!!!!

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Canida

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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