biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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