I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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What would u like to drink?

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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