Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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