What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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