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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops