Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Do you need any assistance?

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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