Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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what is the color of a burp burple

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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