Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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Netball.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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