dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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your a towel.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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You.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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