Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops