What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

are you saying pam, or pan?

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...