how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Smelly Indians.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

thumb_up thumb_down

What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops